Tic Tac Residue
by Your Secret Valentine
Summary: House/Chase Chase tasted like those tic-tacs he used to take when imitating House, House mused, practically devouring Chase’s soul through his mouth.
1. Chapter 1

**Tic-Tac Residue**

**Chapter 1**

A woman jumps out of a car hurriedly and jogs into a building marked **Marshall Elementary School**. Jogging down the halls, she fell into stride with another dark-haired woman, slowing down to keep pace.

"You're late," the dark-haired woman reprimands.

"My car was out of gas, and I had to borrow a friends', _Mom_." Her friend teased, readjusting her bag on her shoulder.

"I'll bet. Brad's house is pretty out of the way of yours, and you always forget to get gas on the way." Natalie rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't at Brad's, I told you; I was just tired last night and forgot to fill up the tank after…" Rebecca, Natalie's friend, clucked her tongue.

"Who are you convincing, me or yourself?"

Natalie sighed and prepared to answer, but she glances at the clock.

"We gotta go."

Rebecca gives her friend a look but spies the time and agrees, speeding up their pace. "You can run but you can't hide. I _know_ you're lying."

Natalie turned her head as she walked into a classroom. "Would I lie to you?" She grins, ignoring her friends' last look and turns to face a class of 5-year-olds.

"'Morning, guys!"

"Good morning, Miss Natalie!" They chorused back at her. Natalie smiled, winking at them. "And you're all in your seats?"

Another chorus of "Yes" rang out, and Natalie laughed. "Great!" She turned to a little girl with pigtails. "Sydney, why don't you tell us what you did this weekend?"

Sydney giggled, and makes a face. "Come on, Sydney, we know you're not shy." Sydney leaned on the desk and giggled again.

"How come…we always have to tell you what we did…and you never tell us what you did?" This time the entire class giggled and tittered.

Natalie smiles at her class. "Okay, _I _had a great weekend. But don't tell Miss Rebecca, okay?" A girl across the room raised her hand. "What did you do?"

"I, uh, made a new friend. It's fun to make new friends, right? Like when all of you came here?" The class broke out in a chorus of "Yes, Yeas, etc".

Sydney raised her hand. "Did you tell your mom and dad about your new friend?" Natalie smiled again and bobbed her head.

"Absolutely! You should never keep _anything_ from your parents. And I told them…" Suddenly, Natalie broke off in gibberish. The class giggled, thinking it was a joke.

Natalie started to panic, still spouting off gibberish. The class was in pre-hysterics, innocently unaware of their teachers' distress. An idea grows in her head and she goes to the board, starting to write.

"C, A, L, L, T, H,…" they read as the letters appeared.

"The!" Sydney shouted.

"We know that word!" A boy yelps, more voices buzzing over the words. Natalie collapses, having a seizure. The children flock around her and the board where the words CALL THE NURSE are printed.

Rebecca comes rushing in after seeing Natalie collapse, and panics as Natalie's body seizes uncontrollably.

--

House pushed open his office door, eyeing his team already assembled at the table, with Cameron at the wipe board. He arched an eyebrow, hobbling over to stand by Chase's chair and meeting their gazes.

"Ah, another day, another patient one step closer to their impending doom."

Cameron handed him a cup filled with coffee, smiling quietly and returning to her place next to Foreman. House nodded his thanks and dumped his bag into a vacant chair, striding up to the board.

"29 year old female, first seizure one month ago, lost the ability to speak. Babbled like a baby. Present deterioration of mental status." Wilson rattled off, looking up from a folder and raised an eyebrow at House.

"Hello to you too, darling. Did last night meant nothing to you?" House quipped. Wilson rolled his eyes and dropped the folder on the table, leaning against the coffee counter.

"She can't talk? I may just _like _this patient." House picked up a marker, twirling it between his fingers.

"She's my cousin."

"And your cousin doesn't like the diagnosis." House watched as Wilson placed the MRI scans on the screen. "I wouldn't either. Brain tumor, she's going to die. Boring."

"No wonder you're such a renowned diagnostician. You don't need to actually _know_ anything to figure out what's wrong." Wilson shook his head at House, walking back to lean on the counter.

"Clearly, you're the oncologist. I'm just a lowly, infectious, disease guy."

"Oh yes, just a simple country doctor. Brain tumors at her age are highly likely."

"She's 29. Whatever she's got is highly unlikely," Chase jumped in, ending the banter and trying to push the case along. House and Wilson's gazes swiveled to him. Wilson nodded at him.

"Protein markers for the three most prevalent brain cancers came up negative. No family history."

House had been studying Chase, who shifted under the gaze, but jumped in hearing the last sentence. "I thought your uncle died of cancer." He returned his stare to Wilson, much to Chase's relief.

Wilson shook his head. "Other side. No environmental factors."

"That you know of," House added.

"She's also not responding to radiation treatment."

Foreman sighed. "It's a lesion."

"And the big green thing in the middle of the bigger blue thing on a map is an island." House retorted, leaning back against the board. "I was hoping for something a bit more creative."

"Shouldn't we be speaking to the patient before we start diagnosing?" Foreman asked, shifting to look at his boss instead of the MRI scans.

House raised an eyebrow. "Is she a doctor?"

"No, but…"

"Everybody lies." House ignored Cameron's murmuring to him about "not dealing with patients". Foreman rocked back on his heels. "Isn't treating patients why we became doctors?"

House shoved off his perch and began hobbling over to the table. "No, treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable."

"So you're trying to eliminate the humanity from the practice of medicine." Chase stood in front of the scans, studying House.

"If you don't talk to them, they can't lie to us, and we can't lie to them. Humanity is overrated." House swiveled his head to stare at the scans, as well as watch Chase out of the corner of his eyes. "I don't think it's a tumor."

Foreman scoffed, giving House a look. "First year of medical school if you hear hoof beets you think "horses" not "zebras"."

"Are you in first year of medical school? No. First of all, there's nothing on the CAT scan. Second of all, if this is a horse then the kindly family doctor in Trenton makes the obvious diagnosis and it never gets near this office. Differential diagnosis, people: if it's not a tumor what are the suspects? Why couldn't she talk?"

Chase shook himself from his thoughts, jumping into the conversation. "Aneurysm, stroke, or some other ischemic syndrome."

House turned his head slightly to stare at him. "Get her a contrast MRI."

"Creutzfeld-Jakob disease." Cameron piped in.

"Mad cow?"

"Mad zebra."

"Wernickie's encephalopathy?"

"No, blood thiamine level was normal."

"Lab in Trenton could have screwed up the blood test. I assume it's a corollary if people lie, that people screw up."

"Re-draw the blood tests. And get her scheduled for that contrast MRI ASAP." House hobbled over to the scans.

"Let's find out what kind of zebra we're dealing with here."

The team disassembled. Chase lingered a moment behind, staring at House before following Cameron and Foreman. House stared out of the glass before hobbling toward the door.

--

**A/N: **Not really eventful, sorry. It's not really my thing to change a show's episode for a story, but what the hell. I had an inspiration. Hope people will like this? I got some pretty good feedback on my other House fic, and since people seemed excited or at least somewhat interested in seeing my other House works, I figured, what've I got to loose? I can always take it down if it seems shitty.

Um, please ignore the fact that this is the first episode and then I go on about stuff happening in a later on episode... It's not that important, really, haha...

I think I'll post chapter 2 as well, since this chapter is rather uneventful...then again, the juicy stuff starts in chapter 2, so maybe I'll wait...


	2. Chapter 2

**Tic-Tac Residue**

**Chapter 2**

House pushed the down button for the elevator, rocking back on his heels. The sound of the door opening down the hall caused him to turn his head. He swore under his breath when Cuddy strolled through.

_Whoever the hell up there took mercy on me_, House thought as the elevator doors opened just as Cuddy's gaze started to turn toward him. He quickly, well, as quickly as someone who is hobbling could go, hobbled into the elevator.

Cuddy's heels stopped in front of the closing elevator. House grinned at her, pointing at his watch.

"Dr. House, I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago!" Cuddy's eyes narrowed.

House lifted his hand to his ear, gesturing to the closing doors. She rolled her eyes and moved to stop the closing doors, but House was quicker, using his cane to press the close door button. He waved smugly as his boss disappeared from sight and the shaft moved down.

Cuddy, however, narrowed her eyes and strode down the hall toward a certain wood door.

--

House sighed as the elevator stopped on the second floor. His eyebrows raised when the doors opened to reveal Chase.

"Slacking on your duties? I must say, you're doing it wrong…" House tsked. Chase rolled his eyes, flicking back a piece of hair and joining House in the elevator.

"I was coming to find you." House's eyebrows jumped.

"Using the down elevator?""It's 5; you'd be leaving. And knowing you, you were escaping Cuddy." Chase explained, giving him a look. House's mouth twitched.

"I have a beeper." The doors slid open.

The two hobbled or walked out of the elevator, letting a few more people pass by them. "Finding you was faster. And you might actually respond to this more than a beeper."

"Oh, don't deny it, you just wanted to my beautiful face." House stopped at the nurse's station, signing out. Chase stood next to him. "Clearly. Are you going home?"

"No. Strip club."

"Cuddy joining you?" House glanced over his shoulder, groaning when he saw Cuddy making a beeline for him.

"Dr. House," she called.

"Sorry, Dr. Cuddy. Chase and I aren't ready for a threesome yet. But we were wondering if you and Cameron had something going on." House fluttered his eyelashes at her. Chase bit back a smirk and Cuddy rolled her eyes.

"Judging by your affairs…" Chase choked. Cuddy went on, ignoring this. "…you didn't seem to understand me. You were supposed to be in my office 20 minutes ago."

"Really?" House mocked surprise. "Well, that's odd, because I had no intention of being in your office 20 minutes ago."

"You think we have nothing to talk about?"

"No, just that I can't think of anything that I'd be interested in." Chase's eyes shifted between them. _Just like a tennis match._

"I sign your paychecks."

"I have tenure. Are you going to grab my cane now, stop me from leaving?"

"I can still fire you if you're not doing your job."

"I'm here from 9 to 5."

"Your billings are practically nonexistent, ("rough year") you ignore requests for consults, ("I call back. Sometimes I misdial."), and you're 6 years behind on your obligation to this clinic."

House turned to Chase. "See? I was right. This doesn't interest me."

Cuddy gave him a look. "6 years, times 3 weeks; you owe me better then 4 months."

"It's 5:00. I'm going home."

"To what?" Cuddy snapped. Chase's eyebrows flew up, watching House and his guarded emotions.

"Nice."

Cuddy sighed, frustrated. "Look, Dr. House, the only reason that I don't fire you is because your reputation still worth something to this hospital."

"Excellent, we have a point of agreement. You aren't going to fire me." He moved to start walking toward the door.

"Your reputation won't last up if you don't do your job. The clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job!" Cuddy followed him.

"Well, like the philosopher Jagger once said, "You can't always get what you want.""

Chase watched as they bantered, frowning and turning back to join his teammates.

--

Chase strode down the hall and spun around a corner, spotting the people he had a destination for. He came up behind Natalie in the chair, moving to stand next to Cameron.

Natalie turned slightly to see him. "You aren't my doctor, are you? Dr. House?" Chase smiled at her.

"Thankfully, no. I'm Dr. Chase."

Cameron stepped in. "Dr. House is the head of diagnostic medicine. He's very busy, but he has taken a keen interest in your case."

--

"We inject gadolinium into a vein. It distributes itself throughout your brain and acts as a contrast material for the magnetic resonance imagery."

"Basically, whatever's in your head, lights up like a Christmas tree."

"It might make you feel a little light-headed." Cameron and Foreman turned at a new voice. A nurse had entered the room.

"Dr. Cameron. I'm sorry I have to stop you, there's a problem."

--

The ducklings stood outside Cuddy's office, witnessing as House barging into her office. They lingered around, mulling over what the girl might have.

Cameron kept throwing anxious glances at the office doors, and Foreman was studying the file, as if it would throw them a bone and tell them something different. Chase stood only a slightly away from them, wondering why House seemed to be different to him, hands in his pockets and against the wall. He sighed and raised his head, banging it against the wall lightly, closing his eyes.

Cameron sent him a worried look too, before going back to pacing slightly.

This was how Wilson found them. He spun around the corner, intent on going to his office, before spotting the ducklings, as they were so affectionately called. Wilson strode towards them, Cameron spotting him first.

Foreman noticed her stopping and looked up, closing the folder. Chase opened his eyes and shoved off the wall just as Wilson reached them.

"What're you…"

"You showed me disrespect, you embarrassed me and as long as I'm still working here you have…!" House's voice made them all turn.

"Is your yelling designed to scare me because I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be scared of. More yelling? That's not scary!" Cuddy's voice made them relax a bit.

"Cuddy pulled his authorization." Foreman explained. Wilson sighed, and Cameron only look more worried. House walked out of Cuddy's office as if nothing happened. He nodded to them, and leaned on his cane.

"Do the MRI, she folded." They nodded before leaving. House watched them before calling out, "Chase." The Aussie stopped and turned. Foreman and Cameron followed suit, even they weren't called. "My office. I'll be there in a minute." He nodded and went the other way. House raised an eyebrow at the other two. "Fly, my birdies. You have worms to catch."

Cameron and Foreman exchanged looks before leaving again.

House waited until they were all out of vision before turning to Wilson. They started walking toward House's office. "I've gotta do four hours a week in this clinic until I make up the time I've missed." House paused, eyes darting. "2054. I'll be caught up in 2054." Wilson chuckled. "You better love this cousin a whole lot."

--

Chase folded his hands behind his head, leaning back in House's chair. He hummed to himself, staring at the ceiling. _Why would House want to see me? I need to go help with MRI_… he mused, spinning around now.

House walked in on him like this, humming, spinning, and musing. "Good day, gov'na." Chase stopped the chair and sat up, silent now.

He raised an eyebrow at House's crack. "I'm Australian." House hobbled over toward Chase, giving him a mock surprised look.

"Golly gee, I'm really sorry, mate. Don't go Kangaroo Jack on me or anything." House leaned against the desk, taping the floor with his case. Chase rolled his eyes, sitting back in the chair and staring at House.

"You needed to see me? Shouldn't you be in the clinic?" House sighed.

"Bad duckling, you're eavesdropping again." Chase raised an eyebrow again. "So I never found out. Why were you looking for me earlier?" House cocked his head, mock innocence radiating off him in waves.

"Oh. Ah…" Chase tried to hide his discomfort. "I don't…really…remember, um…" House gasped.

"Oh, you don't remember?" He tutted. "That's pretty bad, for a doctor. You'll have to learn how to remember things. Such as… kissing a nine year old." Chase glared at his boss.

"Tsk, tsk. No sour looks at Daddy." House smirked.

"Enough with your family analogies, House." House smirked again, leaning closer to his duckling.

"Well, good then. Now I don't have to feel dirty when I do this." House leaned forward and pressed his lips against Chase's.

Chase's eyes widened, and, not thinking, opened his mouth to say something, but words were lost as House's tongue was shoved down his throat. They closed their simultaneously, deciding just to enjoy the moment.

Chase tasted like those tic-tacs he used to take when imitating House, House mused, practically devouring Chase's soul through his mouth. Said duckling carefully pulled House on top of him on the chair, adjusting his legs accordingly.

Chase's hands slid under House's shirt, who urged Chase along with his tongue. Eventually, they pulled apart, panting and satisfied. Their clothes were thoroughly mussed, as well as Chase's hair.

When their breathing returned to normal, Chase swallowed thickly and let out a breath.

"I should…uh, go help Cameron and Foreman…" he said, his accent thick in his voice. Their names seemed to bring House back to reality and he carefully pulled off Chase and out of the chair.

He nodded, and avoided eye contact with Chase. "Yea, go make sure they don't kill her before I have a chance to win money out of it." Chase hid a smile and, nodding, left.

House lingered, leaning against the desk, before sighing and hobbling out of his office, his destination being the clinic.


End file.
